question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Randomize
