That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
