Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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