Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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