i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
