how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
