I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
