god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
