So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
