Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
