Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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