My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
The feeling are messing with the penis
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
