problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
id be glad to
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
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