Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
no, he came in my armpit
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
sex in a hospital.. check
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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