he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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