Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
