I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
