ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
my phone needs a breathalizer
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
