WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize