I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
