Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
