it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
