how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
