before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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