today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
