he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
3pm strippers are depressing
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Randomize
