we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
