i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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