You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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