I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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