a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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