She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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