I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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