We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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