So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
