Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
