How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
