Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize