WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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