finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
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