when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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