Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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