I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I deserve this hangover.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
