is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
