Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
