If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
