I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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