A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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