She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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