we're blogging at a bar
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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