Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
