I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
