I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize