Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
