Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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