Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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