take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
