Define "chronic" masturbator.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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