Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
