Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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