walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
