i was rollin on her like bob the builder
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
