Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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