I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
